Missing You
by inactive23523524
Summary: Okay look people, stop harassing Dan and Phil, asking if they're gay or not. They are what they are. I'm not writing this to change their minds or whatever, because they are what they are. This story is made up. "'I missed you, Phil,' I mumble. Your lips meet mine briefly. 'I missed you too, Dan.'" If Dan and Phil read this, sry for making you gay in this x]
1. Chapter One: Missing You

**I'm sorry I haven't been uploading, but I doubt anyone wants to read my stuff anyway.**

 **But I've become Phan trash recently and decided I just** _ **had**_ **to make a phanfiction. Dunno how I'm gonna categorize this one.**

~Missing You: Chapter One~

Before today, London's gray skies hadn't affected our protagonist's mood. They were just a part of everyday life. They set the scene perfectly for the soon-to-be saddening events of that day, blocking out the sun and depressing Dan.

"Too depressing," he mumbled, making it his mission to somehow block all of the windows so he didn't have to see the lifeless sky. Maybe it would make him feel better.

Dan sighed, falling back onto the couch and pulling his laptop onto his lap, assuming browsing position. He turned his head to the custom-design calendar on the wall, counting the days until Phil was supposed to be out of the hospital. Six.

He had already been waiting for Phil's recovery for three weeks. Six more days just didn't seem necessary. The accident hadn't been _that_ bad…had it?

Dan had something like a cringe-attack and looked back to his computer, double-clicking on the circular, blue, red, yellow, and green icon that symbolized Google Chrome and it quickly popped up on the screen. He redirected to YouTube.

The first thing in his Recommended section was a video entitled "Phan Moments". A heavy blush settled on his cheeks. He had been watching a lot of the fan-made videos of "Phan," the heavily shipped ship of he and Phil. It was only to make fun of them, of course. It wasn't like he…liked Phil or anything.

No, that would just be ridiculous. They were only friends. Best friends.

Dan sighed, said "Why the hell not" and clicked on the video.

Flashbacks hit him hard as pictures of he and Phil smiling and laughing, Phil tackling him during an episode of Phil is not on fire, hugs between them, and other moments that seemed to "make Phan canon." Happy music played in the background of the photos. It was the complete opposite of Dan's nostalgic and sad feelings.

It took a few minutes for him to realize it, since the memories were enveloping him and keeping him away from reality, but tears were rolling down Dan's cheeks.

He wiped them away with his thumb. But his face was still sticky, and his heart was still aching.

He looked back to his computer, but soon he was crying again, harder this time. He pushed his laptop off of his legs and rolled off of the couch, onto the hard wooden floor. After a few minutes of laying in fetal position and weeping, he flattened himself out, spreading out his arms and legs like a starfish. He swallowed his sobbing, and everything was silent. His mind was blank as he stared up at the ceiling.

Blinking another tear down his cheek, a thought blossomed. You see, Dan believed Phil's current state was entirely his fault, and refused to visit his best friend in the hospital. But that was about to be changed.

He pushed himself off the floor and walked out of the living room, into his room, and started to pick out something a bit more formal compared to the plain black tee-shirt and jeans he was wearing.

He placed these clothes on the floor and walked into the bathroom to wash himself off in the shower.

He stepped outside his apartment building and walked toward the hospital. He wasn't really ready, but he had to be. But it wasn't for himself.

It was for Phil.


	2. Apologies and Sunsets

**In case anyone was confused as to why this was deleted and then reposted… I just felt bad. Because they're always harassed as to if they're gay or not. And I'm not attempting to change their minds because it's up to them and stuff. They are what they are. This story is fiction and the plot is made up entirely. I myself don't harass them about being gay and I'm not gay, but if you are you are and I won't judge you ^_^**

 **So after doing the disclaimer stuff I felt a little more comfortable with posting it again. Please don't hate me Dan and Phil if you're reading this x]**

 **THOUGH I HIGHLY DOUBT THEY ARE.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **And I know this is long I'm sorry but some chapters I'll do first person and others I'll do third person. This 'un is in Dan's first-person POV!**

Chapter Two: Apologies and Sunsets

I know you should never do something you're going to regret, and it wasn't _really_ my fault that you were in the hospital. Because apologizing is for accidently bumping someone as you walk along, or forgetting to do something they asked of you. It's for things you're going to forget.

But still I was repeating it over and over as tears dribbled down my cheeks as I clutched your pale hand. And I knew it was going to do nothing, and it was going to get me nowhere. But it made me feel better to get it all out. And I was alone with you now, so the nurses wouldn't look at me like I was mad.

You looked so lifeless. So weak and helpless. And the fact that I couldn't help you was the worst part of it. There was nothing I could do to bring the happy, cereal-stealing, anime-watching weirdo that I shared a flat with.

But I loved the happy, cereal-stealing, anime-watching weirdo that I shared a flat with. And I never told him. All of the pent-up affection crushes and consumes me, and then spits me out as a pile of broken bones and a broken heart. It wants to end me. To consume me completely. And honestly I want it to, but what if you were to wake up?

It's funny how I came into the hospital with full confidence and an expectation of having a casual conversation with the doctors and nurses, but then was faced with a reality full of tears and apologies.

I looked outside and saw that the sun was setting. The last sliver of scarlet sunlight that peeked above the horizon cast a glow on the clouds that hovered above it. It looked like a perfect scene for a romantic movie or for the end of something terrible. But this wasn't the end; it was only the beginning. And sadly, it wasn't romantic either.

I looked back at you, at your lifeless body, and felt something wash over me. Maybe it was the way the disappearing sun shone on my back. Maybe it was just your beauty. But whatever it was, it lulled me into the deep waters of sleep, and the last thing I remembered was the soft skin on your hand, the steady beeping of the heart monitor, and my head falling onto the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed.

 **Lol this is so bad x] But I have some news!**

 **So recently I got a Wattpad account and starting cheating on Fanfiction x] But no not really I love both of them. Anyway I'm AmeLlama if you want to follow me to be alerted when I post the sequel to this story…okay nevermind, because that might take a while, as I'm going to publish it when this story is older…but at least put it into consideration!**

 **Have a good day and thanks for reading**

 **-AmeLlama**


	3. Awakened to a Sign

**OKAY I'M GOING ON A FLIPPING WRITING SPREE**

 **Anyway I decided to write another chapter right after I published the last one because I love doing this stuff but don't expect it to be published right away. I can't promise a balanced uploading schedule…**

 **Thanks to everyone - and by everyone I mean the two people - who commented :D**

Chapter Three: Awakened to a Sign

I woke to a light hand on my shoulder. I sat bolt upright and winced as my body hit the hard back of the chair. Rubbing it with one hand, I looked up, my eyes meeting those of a doctor's. He looks down at me with a sad smile on his face.

"Son, shouldn't you be at home sleeping?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

I feel my face heat up. "I was – just – um, I'll be going now – "

He chuckled. "No, you can stay. I was curious. I apologize."

I was slightly baffled. "You…you needn't do so…"

The doctor smiled. "I'm Doctor Brown. I've been taking care of your boyfriend for the past few days."

I felt my face turn an even-darker shade of crimson as I stuttered, "He's…he's not my – "

"Oh!" Doctor Brown exclaimed. "Again, I apologize!"

\- Boyfriend, but I wish he was.

"I'll be go – " I stopped.

There it was.

The sign of life they'd been waiting for.

I stared down at you and felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop – just ever so slightly.

"What is it?" the doctor asked, sounded panicked.

"He…he squeezed my hand."

 **Sorry that this chapter is terrible! I'll put more effort into the next one I swear xD**


	4. Sign of Life to a Confirmation of Death

**DOUBLE-CHAPTER TODAY**

 **I bet you're all so proud of me**

 **Not really x]**

 **But anyway I felt like writing so there might even be a triple-upload :0**

 **And Brown was the first last name that popped in my head don't judge me xD**

Chapter Four: A Sign of Life to a Confirmation of Death

"THERE'S BEEN A SIGN OF LIFE!" Doctor Brown shouted, running down the halls of the hospital. Before he seemed so civilized and kind, but now I learned he was quite an excitable fellow in addition to those qualities. Of course I was too busy staring at you with tears of utter joy dribbling down my face to really process it. The voice that told me what was happened around me had been pushed to the back of my mind and was now only a whisper.

You were awake. Maybe soon you would come home to me. Maybe I wouldn't have to wait anymore. Because now you've been here for four weeks. And it didn't seem very necessary.

I squeezed your hand back. You won't remember any of this. It'll probably be only whispers of dreams and faded memories of the accident. But I'll remember it all. And the scars on your arm and the stitches on your back will always remind me that it was my fault. I wasn't the driver who rammed my car into you, but I couldn't protect you. And I should have.

I was going to tell you when you woke up, and you would insist that it wasn't my fault. That it was the driver's. And that I needn't worry, because you weren't upset with me.

"He should be awake in just days!" a feminine voice said calmly from the doorway. I turned and there stood a brown-haired nurse, with a stereotypical clipboard in her hand and a pleasant smile on her face. I smiled back at her out of pure jubilation and looked back at you. I heard her footsteps fade away and I knew it was safe to speak to you.

"I'm going to go home."

I hesitated before adding, "I love you" and pressing my lips gently to his forehead before grabbing my bag and exiting the room. My face was alight with a crimson blush as I paused at the doorway and looked back.

 _I could stay._

But you wouldn't want that. And I would probably get kicked out or arrested or something if I stayed any longer. So I whispered "goodbye" and turned back towards the hall and navigated through thee twisting and turning corridors, which were full of a mix of nurses, doctors, and patients. The walls were white, the lighting consisted of dim florescent bulbs, and the floor was of white ceramic tile.

I pushed all of the details aside and decided to focus on you.

I focused on the memories of your beautiful raven hair, cut in a matching style to mine and your beautiful blue orbs that I could get lost in within seconds. Of your laugh, of your voice, of your personality. I pondered what I would say when you came home to me. Just a sweet-and-short "I love you," or a long speech about how much I had missed you?

I found myself at the entrance by letting my feet carry my body out into the light of day and you carry my thoughts away into unknown places of love and mystery.

And for the first time in four weeks I felt happy.

 _ **-**_ **o0O0o** _ **-**_

Soon it became four weeks and three days and you still weren't home.

Had the doctors been lying to me?

They told me you'd be home in a matter of days.

They told me you'd be better soon.

 _No, no, they're not lying. Stop thinking like that! He's fine!_

I tried to make myself believe it, but it became four weeks and four days, and I told myself I'd have to wait for another day.

And then it became five weeks, seven days after I had last seen you.

The doctor called me and told me you were still alive, but you weren't going to wake up.

At "I'm sorry" I hung up, threw the phone, and bolted outside, just barely slipping on shoes as I went, and hailed a taxi to bring me to the hospital before it was too late. "I'm sorry" wasn't enough to heal my blossoming pain. Didn't the doctor on the phone realize that?

Before I knew it I was a mess of tears and shouts walking quickly next to you on the stretcher.

"THEY CAN'T TAKE HIM AWAY!" I screamed, running with the doctors as they carried you out. "BRING HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM! HE'LL WAKE UP SOON!"

Soon there were doctors restraining me. It was all a blur, but I remember falling onto my knees and whispering my final words of goodbye.

"I love you, Phil."

And then I heard a terse "STOP" and suddenly you were coming closer to me.

And your eyes were open.

 **Lol sorry for the terrible chapter names.**

 **Gasp Phil's awake 0.0**


	5. Telling the World

**SHOUTOUT TO ASHTHENERD!**

 **This chapter is dedicated to you, Ash (can I call you that?). Enjoy! I hope it's good enough :,)**

 **And I'm sorry I've been just speeding through this story x]**

 **But maybe I'll make a whole thing of oneshots soon?**

 **And I'll be rewriting the whole thing to make it longer and better once it's done ^-^**

Chapter Five: "Hello, Internet."

You were awake now. You were still in the hospital, but it was better than having you being wheeled away on a stretcher into the grave. So far I've waited five weeks and two days for you to come home. And they tell me it's going to be soon.

They haven't let me see you yet with al of the testing and paperwork for your release being filled out. I haven't said a single word to you for over a month, Phil, and it's making me hurt. It's unfair.

When you were wheeled back toward me, we were mere inches apart. I had warm tears streaming down my face as they rolled you away. I tried to stand up and run after you, but I was restrained again.

You smiled at me sadly, and my heart almost melted away. It was the first time I had seen that smile in a month.

And you could most definitely say I missed it.

-o0O0o-

So here I was, in my normal browsing position, back at where I snapped under the pent-up emotion at three weeks and six days. And that was the day I decided to see you. The day I fell asleep at sunset with my face pressed to the white hospital bed sheets; the day I saw your helpless form for the first time.

It was the first time I realized it would never be the same.

Maybe for you it would. You would keep smiling and pretend it had never happened.

But inside of _me_ , guilt would still linger. Maybe through all of the happy and funny times, where Phil would scold me for being facetious; or vice-versa. Maybe through drawing cat whiskers for the first time in a while.

I hadn't even thought about what the fans would think. Even though I don't post very often, my phone was probably destroyed from concerned tweets and emails. So I took my camera out and combed through my hair (which was in its true Hobbit-hair form) and started recording.

"Hello, Internet," I said to the camera. "I know recently Phil and I haven't been on social media, and that's because…well, Phil's been hospitalized.

"We were walking down the street, and long-story-short, he was hit by a car. He was in a coma for a little over a month and had a few operations done, and he's still in the hospital, but woke up the other day. He'll have some permanent scars, but other than that, he'll be fine."

I smiled at the camera and wiped at tears that had (unknowingly) formed in the corners of my eyes.

"Ah, allergies. Gotta hate them," I lie with a slightly choked laugh. "Anyway, I'll see you all soon. Don't worry, Phil will be back soon." I felt my smile widen ever so slightly as I ended the recording. With some quick editing I posted the video and titled it, "IMPORTANT UPDATE" and shut my computer with full knowledge that the comment section was filling and the number of views was escalating.

I sat on the sofa and looked outside at the gray sky, counting down the seconds until you would come home, hoping the time wouldn't pass to seven weeks.

 **Sorry this was kinda short and very bad!**

 **ONCE AGAIN SHOUTOUT TO ASHTHENERD!**


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